Look Like me?

 So since January I have really wanted to blog my journey of my body transformation, it only took me 8 1/2 months to get started!! sheesh!! I feel as thought God has taught me SO much about health, my heart, my body and my drive!! It's been quite the journey so far and I have to say I feel very certain that I WILL make my goal!! That in it's self is a huge battle won and I'm very excited for my future fit self :)
So be prepared this will be a raw and real blog all of the time with some tough thoughts, challenging thoughts and encouraging ones for all! 

So Last night I was going to try and hoola hoop.  I must say I'm quite amazing at it...well on our wii, hehe! But we just got one on sunday so I decided to give it a whorl.  Well I no less had that thing on my hips and My sweet Avery (7yrs old) said " I don't think you can do it with your fat....." and she stopped mid "fat" part.  Then she looked at me nervously and said "I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that!!". See we have had this conversation a few times in the past few years so she knows it hurts me.  Yes it does hurt still.  She was so upset when she saw my face.  She's our sweet hearted girl and gets very upset when she knows she hurts you.  She ran off crying saying "I'm sorry i didn't mean it, I'm sorry!!" In a very 7yr old girl way ;)  I told her it was ok and I forgave her, the whole bit so she knows I'm ok.  At bedtime she came to give me a kiss good night and she said again "mom I'm sorry I said that to you, I didn't mean it."  I again assured her it was ok and that I understood.  Then she asked a question that I thought was interesting "mom when I'm big will I look like you?"  wow! My 1st thought was I hope not! But then I said "Well you will have all my good qualities :) But I hope you always stay active and eat healthy.  That's why we always talk about it. I don't want you to struggle like I did." We then talked about why it's so important to me to workout and make healthy food and how I want to be a good example to her (and my other sweeties).  We talked about our beauty and what God looks at.  

   He looks at our heart and character.  He sees us as beautiful and whole because of Jesus! How amazing is that!!   I want my Avery, Gabe and Zoe to know they will look like me (and daddy), they will be beautiful and full of life! They will have their dads deep warm brown eyes, his tan skin and my blond hair (they are quite stunning if you ask me! They look like California beach babes!!).  But most of all they will be beautiful because of their heart, their dreams, their character and all that God created them to be!!  

Saved!!

So on thursday early afternoon April 8th 2010 our Avery Lynn asked Jesus into her heart!!! I am SO proud of her!! Jeremy and I are. The best moment ever for a parent!! The pride and joy in my heart was so amazing!! I just know God has really great things instore for our Avery!! She already is such a strong little lady! I'm so thankful to God for her moment. Praying it never wavers and only grows for the rest of her life!!

Everything Else is going great! Zoe is growing so fast! Already 4 months old...I think it's so crazy! She is such a doll baby! So content, sweet and smily. Avery just loves her! She is a little mamma, naturally. Gabe is such a sweety too with her. It melts my heart to see him be tender with her. Gabe is all boy for sure now! Rough and tumble :) Trying to get used to it! haha!! and enjoy it at the same time!! Avery is all girl too. loves her dresses, chapstick (lipstick), writting, my little ponys! So fun!!

My life is so blessed!! I love my husband with all that I am and I am so proud of him and all that God is calling him too and moving him towards!! Such an amazing journey so far that started almost 11 yrs ago!!

~Layne~

Sleepless in Flint Mi.

So it's 11:57pm the night before thanksgiving. I am still awake. Had thanksgiving with my family today and it was great! Really yummy food...actually the best turkey I have ever ate!! I don't love turkey but my mom did an amazing job and brinded the turkey 1st...totally the key!! Natually being out of my home elemiate I didn't get my usual nap in so I was almost passing out with out notice!! I would wake up not remembering I even fell asleep!! I am SO tired but am just having a hard time sleeping lately. 1 good reason really....I'm having a baby in a week so I'm uncomfortable and thinking a lot!! Baby #3!! WOW where did the time go?! I'm so thankful it's a holiday week so there has been lots of activities to keep my mind and days occupied. But it feels like the weekend because Jeremy will have been home for 2 days tomorrow and that only usually happens on the weekends!! So I'm hoping for a busy day friday while he works, then it's a good weekend too!! I know before I know it I'll have our new little one in my arms...but till then I'll have to wait a little longer.
God give me an amazing week with my little family!! Special times with Avery and Gabe. Let them know how much I love them and still will when this baby comes. Make thier excitment and joy real and tangable....as much as thier daddies and mine will be. Let this be and very special time together and I pray this transition will be smooth. I am trusting you with our needs and believe you will still meet everyone before our baby is born and after!! You are the best Daddy there could ever be and I know you will provide!!!

A tired pregnant mommy!!

Really?!

Ok so here is my crazy kid moment for you....I just made homemade pizza. Avery and Gabe wanted to help me of course so they did. Their favorite part is putting on the cheese and they love to snack on the cheese too! So I was done with the pizza making and cleaning it up, I put the empty sauce can inside the empty cheese bag and threw it in the trash. Well my son...who must have not had enough cheese...goes into the garbage and gets out the bag, sticks his hand inside and well... I hear screaming and crying! He had stuck his fingers inside the can and I pulled it out and he has sauce and blood all over his hand!! He cut his fingers on the can that was inside the bag!! REALLY?!!! does this stuff really happen? haha!! I mean it's not funny, but so dumb!! what are the odds of that moment happening? So he is all good, Jeremy washed his hands off to find the cuts and he is all bandaged up. Hopefully he'll keep the bandaids on this time :) AHHH my sweet boy!!!

My Love

As usual it's been awhile since I've blogged! This pregnancy, especially during the summer, just sucked my ambition right out of the window!! That heat man just did me in!! But now that it's my favorite time of year and cooler weather, I have a new wind at my back! Much more energy and it feels really good!! So I have been thinking about my husband a lot and I wanted to blog/brag about him :) My love.

As most of you probably already know we met 11yrs ago. He was 15 and I was 16. He actually is the cousin of one of my dearest friends in high school (and to this day!). When I 1st saw him I didn't think much, I actually put more thought into his brother (weird!), but ironicly I remember nothing about Bryan, but I remember EVERYTHING about Jeremy! See he was younger than me so I though...No way! But God has a funny since of humor and is always placing me right back at those..No way Never moments!! I'm SO glad he did.
So what was it about Jeremy that I liked...well to be honest at the time I was a 16, then 17 year old young women who was plain glad to have a guy "like" her. So that got me interested. But the more I got to know Jeremy the more amazing he became!! He was SO attentive. Which really threw me because it is something I had never seen before. He wanted to be with me, to know me. Now again being a stupid 17 yr old I thought it was "clingyness" and it put me off a bit, but it prevailed in the end!! So when we started dating I fell so hard for him quickly!! His attentiveness, he was a gentelmen, curtious, smart, sweet, loving, musical and most of all I knew he loved Jesus! I saw it and knew it!! We would talk about God, he would read his bible with me, we just shared and talked a lot! He's an amazing writer too!! He has written me poems that you wouldn't believe! This mind God gave him is amazing, I think I am seeing that more and more the longer I know him!! He was totally respectful too!! That and maybe the thought of my dad coming after him was real too! haha!! But I know he was genuin. Proof of that was our vow to stay pure till marraige. And yes my friends we were!! I praise God for that!! We dated for 4 1/2 yrs before we married and let me tell you it was a long 4 yrs sometimes!! It was probably the hardest thing we did!! We had our trials and errors, but God was faithful and we new the reward of waiting in the end and worked really hard!! The eye he has for me sometimes bewilders me...probably just because I am a women, but it's amazing! No matter what kind of day I am having or feeling about myself and my body..he has NEVER made me feel more than the most beautiful women in the world! I know his eye is pure for me and his love for me is real. That is something I will truley cherish in him!!
Knowing Jeremy as his wife now is so different in many ways. There is a trust there, one that was started in dating but put in full bloom in marraige. He trusts me with his thoughts and dreams...his true heart. That is what I ment by being so amazed by his mind!! His passion for the things God has placed in his heart overwhelmed me at 1st!! I thought they were amazing, but maybe not for me...well like I said before God has had to take me back to those places of...NEVER NO WAY, and gently say Yes Layne, for you and your husband. So I have had to really look at my heart and learn to trust God and my husband and say YES!! Now I am so excited for what God has for me and Jeremy!! God is growing us and changing us everyday. Molding us into the couple and individuels we need to be for our futures. Doors have opened up and begun to happen!! It's funny too because the one thing I really missed about dating was all the dreaming Jeremy and I did together. We would always talk about our future kids, home, cars, wedding (well that was me :) ) and then when we got married all those things started to come true and I don't think we were dreaming together like we used too. But then God gave my husband a dream and passion and once I moved through my fears and "wants" and opened my heart to God will, we started to dream again!! But dreaming bigger and better than ever!! God's dreams are so much more amazing than the ones we can come up with!! I mean marriage, babies, homes and things are all good (and things I still dream about!!), but when you know your are dreaming things of God and saying yes, all those other things are just cherries on the sunde!!
My husband....My Jeremy.....My very best friend is one of the most amazing, smart, loving, thoughtful, passionate, talented, Godly men I have ever known and I am so proud to call him mine!! I know God will be using him is such an amazing way to reach this world. With Gods grace and love I know I will be his biggest cheerleader! I will be by your side Jeremy cheering you on all the way! I have such respect for you, faith and trust in you I know we can conquer this world together for God glory!! Every woman should know whats it's like to have a man they feel that way about!! I'm so glad I do! I love you forever Jeremy Thomas!! Thank you for being you and listening to God's heart for you and us! For being an amazing daddy to our babies and the most amazing husband to me!! all my love, your wife xxoo

I want to be on Oprah!

So yes I want to be on Oprah...although not as an audiance member (though it would be fun!) but as a guest...be in the Hot seat!! There has been so many times that I am talking to the tv because I am so irritated or blown away at things people say!! For instance...a week ago her friday live show they got chatting about marriage and all came to the conclusion that people shouldn't get married till they are at least 30yrs old, because you don't know who you are! BULL CRAP!!!! That is ludicrus!! I was 21yrs old, my hubby was 20yrs and we would do it again in a heart beat!! Ok so that is another blog for another day :) Today will be about motherhood.
So on the show yesterday it was all dedicated to moms. They were talking about all the little "dirty" secrets we as moms have about raising kids! Some of them were so nuts to me! Like a mom so afraid to wake her kids from sleeping in the car that she peed in a diaper...LOL...wow...another saying she didn't bathe her twins for 3wks. I mean we all have our crazy moments and funny moments...but some are a bit extreme...I think. Another thing they talked about was how moms should start being honest with each other about everything in motherhood and stop putting up a front with each other..."yeah everything is great!" when really they are not. Well I don't know about any of you...but I SO do not lie to my friends about my life as a mom!!! I don't know anyone who does. I do not try to be super mom! I already know I cannot do it all and that if somethings doesn't happen on any given day..WE WILL ALL SURVIVE! LOL! Yes I think a lot of moms think something will go horribly wrong if everything doesn't go as planned...but it will be OK! I was just telling a friend the other day how something always has to go...if I clean real good one day, there is no working out, if I work out, there is no cleaning. If I go out that day it all goes to the crapper...LOL. See knowing myself (as I do and knew pretty young *wink wink*) I am a morning person. I clean, work out, play, am super energized all morning and then as the day progresses other things take priority. After lunch time the kids take a nap or "quiet time" since the 4yr old doesn't think she needs a nap anymore. and I take me time. I spend time with God, watch some fav shows and just relax from the busy morning then it's time to start dinner, the kids get up, everyone is crazy with hunger and in antisipation for daddy to get home then its evening time!! I mean where does the time go!!! It's so funny to me how thing go by so fast. But anyways, where is this idea that women lie to make themselves feel like they are the perfect mom? Being dishonest only hurts yourself in the long run from total dissappointment of expectations!! EEWWW yeah we so put expectations on everything and everyone!! I felt like some of those mothers were not really taking to true joy and responsability of being a mom. It may sound harsh...but it's like life ended when the kids came? UH NO!! Life has to continue. You are still a wife, still a friend, a sister, niece, granddaughter....A princess of the King! Life shouldn't end when a baby comes into the world. Why do moms lock themselves inside with kids? "oh no I can't go out...my kid will be crazy" well yeah they will, now that you expect it! See expectations again! The times I lock myself up for to long and think it's to hard, I feel miserable inside! I feel so lonely! So when I finally reach out and get with some great friends and moms who know what its all about I feel so much better! Kids are going to leave you someday, it's life. So they can't be our everything and our world because our world will end when they leave. I know I don't want that at all! Of course it's a process we all will go through, but Avery and Gabe cannot be my all! God is the one that will help me in the most of gentle ways, teaching me to let my babies go, in His time and for His purpose. So it's our job to teach them along the way, we are to be the example of God's love. Did you realize that that is how kids will begin to see Gods love...through how we love them? WOW that can be a bit overwhelming. But it's Gods greatness that will get us up again when we fail and show us again what to do, how to react, how to let go, how to love! God's word says that children are a blessing, the fruit of my womb a heritage! What an amazing gift! God has given me these children to love and raise for His glory and He gave me all that I needed from day one to do so. It's just up to us to find out what it is and ask Him for His help to do it!!

another blog soon to come. More on motherhood, marraige and even s.e.x haha! that will be fun! :)

SunShine Baby!

Wow it is amazing what a little sunshine can do for a girl!! I have been waiting for this day for a looong time! I took the kids out side to play for a bit and they were so happy. They just ran around the yard and Gabe was enjoying his big adventure of walking on and off our patio lol! Such a big deal going up a step and off one when you are almost 18months old! I think when winter is almost over mommies and kids get a little sick of each other. You know?! We spend every waking moment together for 3 or 4 months with not much break inbetween! So this is such a great time of year. I feel a bit more energized already. Of course I was sick all weekend with a cold and I am so blessed to have a husband who holds down the fort for me and does everything while I say in bed! Thanks Babe..I can't say it enough :) So after sleeping in for 2 days and taking naps I am so ready to get out and get somethings done. But I made sure to go out with the kiddies. We played follow the leader...thats me mommy :) Kind of some exersice for me...it was fun. Gabe just smiled at us...probably thinking we are nuts!! I always make Av take some "quiet time" since naps are far and few between, while Gabe is taking his nap. I went outside and had my time with God. Journeling and reading the word. I love feeling the cool breeze and warm sun on my skin!! *sigh* life is so good! I polished (not painted...you paint wood and polish nails lol) mine and Av's nails and I already have dinner in the crock pot...something new even. Geesh what a day! I feel so accomplished. I still have to make my grocery list and meal list for the weeks, but God is getting me organized, one day at a time! Thanks you God for this day, the sunshine, the spring air, an accomplished mommy :) Oh and there is the bell...little man Gabe is up and calling to me...so cute! C ya'll later!! Enjoy the sun!!